ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Kathy Pov

I woke the next morning thinking all that happened last night was a dream but the tenderness of my private areas was proof that it did happen, I laid in bed, not feeling like living the house or going to school, I didn’t have much to do in school today as the project was taking more of our time in school, I had semester exams soon too, I looked around my room trying to make sense of what happened last night, but as much as I thought about it, I couldn’t come up to anything. When I had woke up last night and I was alone, I had felt like the biggest fool in the whole world by letting Cross lay his cheating hands on me, I felt ashamed of myself for not being able to tell him no and had left the room quietly and came back here, my body had been too exhausted to overthink which is why I was doing the overthinking now, I felt like he was trying to either get on my good side again or he was trying to manipulate me into believing and trusting him again, I wasn’t buying any of his shit anyway.

I got up from the bed and walked up to the window when I heard him leaving the other room, I stood there watching and before long I saw him walk up to his car, he was dressed casually and didn’t look like he was going to the office.

“Maybe he is going to see her,”

The tiny voice in my head whispered and I couldn’t shake it off, I felt my eyes water again and cursed at myself for being such an idiot, why was I letting one man ruin my life? I had a lot of things to do and have a whole life ahead of me, I am just twenty-three, so why was I letting a man ruin my life for me? All because I love him, all because I am married to him, if he can walk out of our marriage and be with his ex-turned mistress then why can’t I go about my life? Why do I have to let myself get hurt by his actions?

“You are more than this Katherine, you are not weak, don’t let Cross make you weak, if it’s to walk away then do it,”

I said out loud to myself, wiping my tears as the car drove out of the building into the streets, I stood there for a short moment before going to take my bath, I came back to the window, then I remembered that I haven’t called my older sister since she gave birth, so I went in search of my phone, I saw that Cross has given me quickly a lot of miss calls and texts, I rolled my eyes and deleted then, before calling my sister, she sounded so happy to hear from me, and I apologized for not calling her told her I was busy with school, she said she understands and I promised to go visit during the holidays, the call ended after I spoke with her husband, after the call, I went back to lay down on the bed and slept off with my mind blank.

I woke again to the sound of banging on my door, thinking it would be Nora coming to remind me to eat, I got off the bed and opened my door, bad hide because the reason behind my dilemma stood there, I stared at him absentmindedly expecting him to say what he wanted but he didn’t say a word, I wondered why he didn’t go to work and I admit that my heart kinda felt a little less painful knowing that he didn’t go to see that lady, but that didn’t last, the thought that the fact that he didn’t go now doesn’t mean he won’t see her again killed any little joy I felt.

“What do you want?”

I asked after about five minutes of just staring.

“You have lost a lot of weight, you haven’t been eating properly,”

He said in response, okay that cut me off guard and I almost fell for his shit bit then I remembered this might be his new strategy, I rolled my eyes and walked by to my bed leaving the door open, it was up to him to come him or get the fuck out, he chooses the former.

“What do you want?”

“Have you eaten breakfast? I went out and got you something,”

He said raising the bag he had with him, I wasn’t even moved because I wasn’t hungry, food wasn’t doing it for me these days like it use to, I just ate to survive not because of anything else.

“What do you want?”

I asked again, I needed him out of my space, but the dude was making himself comfortable on the sofa in my room and she dropped the food he had with him on the table, I didn’t even bother to take a look, I just wanted him gone.

“Can you say what you came here for and just leave? I will like to be alone,”

I said.

“Why did you move your things out of our room?”

“And you think I will answer you? Think again,”

I said in response, the audacity as if he didn’t know why.

“Why did you come back here last night? I just went downstairs briefly and you left before I came, I miss having you close to me when I sleep.

He said and I concluded that he was a shameless moron, how could he say such things after all he did, how can he sit there asking all these questions causally after all that happened? I wasn’t the problem here, he was.

“Are you not going to talk to me, Kathy? I am trying to work things out between us here, we shouldn’t be fighting,”

“Yeah, right,”

I said in my head, I choose not to talk to him and just let him talk, get bored with the no response and leave but the moron didn’t want to leave.

“Kathy? Nothing happened with Ginna, nothing is going on with her, I am just helping an old friend, and she doesn’t want us to have an issue because of her, so I am trying to fix this,”

He said so that’s why he was trying to make up with me? Because she requested, if she had asked him for something else he would have done it too? And he expects me to take his words for it? Nothing happened between them, yeah right. I thought, eyeing him, he really took me for a gullible fool.

“Are you going to say anything?”

“Yes, get out of my room,”

I said pointing at the door.

“Kathy come on, why are you acting like this? I am trying to fix things here,”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Fix what? I thought you said it’s not a real marriage? I thought you said you don’t owe me any explanation, so why are you explaining now that I don’t want to hear about it? Why are you suddenly trying to fix what’s not even real? Does make sense to you?”

I asked.

“Kathy,”

“Katherine, my name is Katherine, only people that I am close to calls me Kathy and you are not one of them,”

I warned.

“But we are close, I am the closest person to you right now,”

He said and I wanted to at least land a slap in his cheeks to wake him up from his delusional world.

“We are not close, you must be kidding yourself, boys, I don’t even wanna talk to you, how do you think you are the closest person to me,”

I replied, I just wanted him gone.

“I am your husband!”

He said a little loud, I resisted the urge to laugh in his face, the dude was so funny like he suddenly remembered he was my husband?

“Ayy, so you finally remembered that? Boya, where you not the one that has been going on about us not being married for real? Dude pick a side already, stop confusing yourself, or did I do better than she does? Is that why you suddenly want to buy my favor because you realize that you needed someone who can perform?”

“Katherine!!”