Absinthe

Chapter 50: Overdrive

"Did you see the way Jiwoo blocked that shot with his chest? It went BHAM!" Derrick said from the

driver's seat.

I was too busy unwrapping some cookies for Elle and Eiji, who were sitting on either side of me, to look

at his expression, but from his tone alone, I knew he was insinuating something.

"Yeah, so manly," said Faye. "I wonder what a shirtless Jiwoo on top of me would feel like." I looked up

just in time to catch her all-knowing stare in the rearview mirror.

"Elle, Eiji, your mom's being mean to me again." The twins laughed at my remark but continued to

gnaw at their cookies.

"So did you do it?" Derrick asked.

I coughed dramatically and hastily pointed at the twins with my lips. Eiji offered up his water tumbler for

me to drink. Such a sweet boy.

I saw Derrick rolling his eyes in the rearview mirror. "Fine. So BJ, did you and Uncle Jiwoo express

your love for each other last night?"

Faye burst out laughing and practically snorted into her coffee on the dashboard.

"Mommy said you can express your love even in the morning," Elle remarked, eyes still on her cookie.

"Yeah, or even after lunch time," chimed in Eiji. "There's really no proper time to express your love. My

classmates find it embarrassing to do that in school and I don't really get it."

It was Derrick's and my turn to laugh. But before Derrick could say something else, I figured I'd just

answer him and move on to a more kid-friendly topic. "Yes, we did. It's nothing serious, though, and it's

never going to happen again."

"Why?" asked the twins in unison while Derrick and Faye sniggered. I was starting to get annoyed. It

was obvious that I had chosen the wrong car to ride home. I should have joined Robert's,

consequences be damned!

"For the record, it did happen again," Faye said, "but please do humor us BJ: why shouldn't it happen a

third time?"

I had no words for the bitch. We were supposed to be best friends and there she was, using her

children to coax my secrets out.

"Because..." Fuck. That was the first time since morning that I was asking myself the same question.

"You can't answer because there's really no reason, right? You're just being your stubborn self again

like how you were back in high school. You got hurt, and now you're scared that everything else you do

will hurt, too."

Faye was really getting on my nerves now.

"Look, what JM did was bad. How your father and the rest of your family treated you was horrible.

There's no one else in this world who knows exactly how that feels except for yours truly. And Derrick,

of course," Faye continued with her soliloquy.

"She's right BJ," Derrick added. "We've been with you since day one. You should give us more credit."

"Fine," I said. "I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can trust him or anyone ever again. Happy

now?"

I felt Elle and Eiji grabbing my left and right hand each, with Eiji whispering that he wanted to give me a

kiss. I'd leaned sideward to let him kiss me on the cheek when he whispered, "Don't worry, fairy

godmother. Elle and I will be here for you." That was enough to calm me down. Children are way

smarter than we give them credit for.

"I'll always support you, BJ," Faye said, "no matter what decision you come up with. If you're not sure

about trusting Jiwoo, then don't. All I'm saying is don't limit yourself just because the world's full of

assholes like JM."

I peered into the rearview mirror to find both Derrick and Faye smiling at me. Despite their smiles, they

looked sad. I could feel that much. I guess people learn how to read others once they've spent many

years together.

***

The rest of the drive back to the metro was uneventful, with me driving instead of Derrick in an effort to Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

stop myself from overthinking.

What's going to happen to me and Jiwoo now?

If I give in to this, what's my guarantee that Jiwoo's not going to be another JM?

And what about Robert?

Now that I think about it, Robert seems to be the right choice.

With my mind focused on getting us back safely, I could not really finish thinking about all those things.

They remained nothing but questions floating in my head.

I noticed Robert's car branching to the left. He was probably taking Janus home. A few minutes later,

Nico's car also headed to a different direction. I continued the drive to Faye's house, and the sky was

already dark when Derrick and I got off at Faye's. Derrick got a call from the hospital soon after and

had to take a cab. Faye offered to have one of her drivers take me home, but I refused.

I was waiting for something, though I wasn't quite sure what the something was.

Five minutes into my Uber ride, my phone vibrates. It was a text from Jiwoo.

You hungry? Wanna grab dinner together?

Although I was tired, I was also hungry. One part of me wanted to ignore the message because I really

just wanted to rest after all the driving and the activities we had in the morning. But it was Sunday

tomorrow. I would only be resting before classes with Maxwell started again.

Oh well, I guess one bite won't hurt.

Sure. Where to? I texted Jiwoo back.

If you're coming from Faye's... how about Eastwood City?

I noticed that Jiwoo's texts were like internal monologues: they had no filter whatsoever. It didn't make

sense to me because why waste time typing when you can just text the important details?

Eastwood sounds good. I'm in an Uber now. Will probably arrive in about 30 minutes.

Great. I just booked an Angkas. I think I can get there around the same time as you.

I politely told the Uber driver the change of plans and offered to pay him the same amount. My house

was farther, after all, hence the bigger bill. We sped through the thankfully empty streets of Quezon

City on our way to Eastwood. Majority of Manila's traffic on weekends would be centered around where

I live—Makati and the richer southern part of the Metro. Still, Eastwood is the north's BGC, and it's

almost as crowded, so my ride considerably slowed down the closer we got.

I arrived at a quarter before 8 and relished the sight. Eastwood had transformed beautifully from the

last time I saw it. Similar to BGC, Eastwood felt like a city in a different country. I stood in front of

McDonald's and was about to call Jiwoo when I heard him calling me from my left.

I walked to where he was and met him halfway with the idiot smiling like a child. My mind kept pulling

me back to the bathroom in Benguet, where Jiwoo's face was not adorned by a stupid smile but a flash

of greed and lust in his eyes that made me want to surrender to him.

But it couldn't be possible. Jiwoo couldn't possibly feel that way about me.

"Why are you shaking your head?"

I didn't notice it but Jiwoo was now only a foot away. "Sorry. I must have done it subconsciously."

"Were you going to say no to me getting you naked in bed?" Jiwoo asked, still grinning.

I knew he wasn't really into me. The sex part was most likely because Jiwoo is, after all, a man. Men

are hopeless when it comes to controlling their dicks.

"What do you want to eat?"

I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was. Although I could feel my stomach growling a bit, I was no longer

in the mood to eat. I didn't know why, but somehow my appetite had dissipated. All I could think of was

clarifying things with Jiwoo.

"It's my treat."

"I'm not really hun—"

Jiwoo grabbed my wrist and started dragging me to McDonald's. "It's annoying having too many

options, isn't it? I also get stressed when deciding which restaurant to go to. So let's just eat

somewhere tested and proven: McDonald's!"

"You had me traveling all the way to Eastwood City just to eat at McDonald's?"

"Oh c'mon. You're saying that now, but I'm sure you'll change your mind once you take a bite of their

quarter pounder."

Why was he so damned happy? And why was I getting annoyed? Everything was confusing as hell.

I allowed Jiwoo to pull me inside, and soon enough we were both standing in line. When Jiwoo began

ordering food for the two of us, I saw the ladies at the counter—not just the one taking Jiwoo's order

but all of them—staring at Jiwoo, and Jiwoo seemed to be smiling at them.

It seemed that his smile was not reserved for me; it was something he gave to everyone. Maybe that's

why I was upset about it. I was hoping that our relationship would progress, but at that moment,

everything became clear: Jiwoo was not genuinely into me. It was impossible.

"Let's go get a table," Jiwoo said after ordering. While he was craning his neck to find a place for us, as

usual everyone else was staring, and they weren't even trying to be subtle about it.

"Look at that. He's fucking hot," I heard someone behind me say. "Do you think he's with that shorty?"

"No way. It's impossible. He looks straight."

"You think so, too, right?"

"He is. I wish he were single."

"He should be. Hotties like that are meant to be shared. They shouldn't be exclusive to one person."

Those girls were right—Jiwoo was way too handsome for me. What was I thinking? Jiwoo's straight.

We had sex because he had no other option and he needed release. It was a one-time thing. For him

to have feelings for me was the definition of illogical.

"Here," Jiwoo said, pulling up a chair for me.

We sat down, and our orders came a few minutes later. Jiwoo unwrapped the burgers before pouring

the French fries out to create a mound and spreading ketchup all over it in spirals.

"I had fun. Your friends are great," Jiwoo said as he started on his burger. "I wish I had cool friends like

that in high school."

What was he trying to say? Was he going to talk about how poor he was? How difficult life was growing

up? Was he going to retell his sad story?1

"I was too busy with work here and there, so I never had the chance to make friends," Jiwoo said,

burping a little after finishing his glass of Coke. "Not that I'm complaining, though."

Not that he's complaining?

"I've always made it by myself somehow."

And he's telling me that because?

"I guess what I'm trying to say is..."

Here we go.

"Maybe I'm not boyfriend material for you now, but I'm sure I'll make it somehow."

"What?"

"I always have. And I always will."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Your friends aren't sure about my intentions toward you," Jiwoo began, "and I think you're not sure

about me, either. You're probably wondering if it's worth dating me. I can feel it. I can feel that you're

scared I'm just going to be another JM. And you're not wrong in thinking that way. I don't have anything

to prove my worth now, but someday I will. And I'll respect whatever decision you have about dating me

now. But can you promise one thing?"

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I kept quiet and stared at my half-eaten burger instead.

"If you have feelings for me, even just a tiny bit, can you not date Robert? At least until I prove

myself?"