TOSCA
– Let us see the whole wardrobe! – Naomi asked excitedly.
Deanna stood up and took a few steps backwards. She was wearing a high-waisted burgundy dress with gold detailing. Her hair was tied back in a period style and she wore a headdress that resembled a small tiara.
It had been six months since she had started working with Sacha Feni and this night was her debut. I was in Rome waiting for the curtain to go up. The opera house had been chosen to introduce the world to the new jewel in the lyric crown; it was packed, sold out. Leonard had spared no expense in promoting it, and with Feni’s name attached, expectations were high.
– You look beautiful, Deanna! –
– Thank you, Ethan… I’m so nervous! –
Jonathan was smitten, his little face lit up every time he saw her, but this time she seemed to be glowing.
– Do you like it, grasshopper? –
She nodded her head enthusiastically, giving him a smile in the midst of her nervousness.
– Too bad we can’t be there… – Don’t worry.
– Don’t worry, I’ll send you a copy of the play when it’s finished, so you can see it –
And as always, Daniel could hear behind the door. It had become a habit. When his children ran into Ethan’s room, he knew it was her. He’d often tried to force himself not to listen, but he’d never succeeded. It didn’t matter if they were alone with the children or if there was anyone else there, he would grow restless and within minutes he would be getting up in silence to follow them.
It didn’t matter to him whether his family was there or not, or whether Beverly, who was now a permanent fixture, was there, he said nothing and disappeared down the stairs. The children knew he was out there, but pretended not to notice. They all knew. At first Camila and Beverly had complained, but his blank face and silence told them he wasn’t interested in what they had to say.
It was his ‘little joke’, the one that gave him a little satisfaction. The one that kept him sane and burned his soul at the same time.
– What’s the name of the piece? – Ethan asked him.
– Tosca.
-Deanna, five minutes…” Reed’s voice could be heard in the distance.
– I have to go… –
– Good luck! You look so pretty! –Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.
– Yes, Deanna, good luck! –
– Thank you, thank you! I love you.
And the call was cut off. She took a deep breath and walked to her dressing room door. It was time. Leonard was waiting for her, excited, proud, terribly happy. He was beside himself.
Daniel heard it too. He leaned his forehead against the wall and held back the urge to scream out all the frustration he felt inside.
– Mum and Grandma? – she asked.
– In the front row… –
She looked at him as she walked onto the stage.
-Thank you for everything. And she kissed him on the cheek.
There was applause and she went on. The final scene received a 10-minute standing ovation. Deanna was in tears as she waved to the audience with the rest of the cast. Her mother and grandmother in the front row also applauded with tears in their eyes. Suddenly, her fellow actors retreated behind the curtain so that she could receive the audience’s approval alone, it was her debut. The theatre exploded, she had taken the first step.
The news had spread like wildfire through the artistic world and it wasn’t long before it reached Harry. Many still assumed that his friendship with Deanna remained intact and made comments to him about it; they congratulated her through him and he pretended to give her their regards. He sat down at his computer and looked her up. Pictures of the performance came up on the screen, short videos of the theatre, the smiling, radiant face drenched in tears. She had triumphed, and in a big way.
The ‘social’ section of the website showed her the party that had taken place after the first performance, and there she was, dressed from head to toe in silver, on the arm of her manager; her shoulders bare, her hair pulled back and her neck adorned with green stones that, knowing Leonard’s extravagance, would be emeralds. Beautiful was an understatement.
As promised, Deanna sent the children a copy of the play.
– Should we ask Dad to watch it with us? – Naomi asked.
– I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Naomi. Dad is still sad… –
– I’ll ask him anyway –
She went downstairs to look for him and found him reading in the living room. She approached him slowly until Daniel became aware of her presence.
– What’s wrong, baby? –
– Hi Daddy! – she said, hurrying to give him a kiss on the cheek.
She always brought a smile to his face. Daniel put the book down and looked at her.
-Daddy… I wanted to ask you… You know, Deanna sent us her piece where she sang at the opera for the first time… In Rome… She said the theatre was very beautiful… –
Hearing her name, his smile turned into a grimace.
– Let’s go see it now… Do you want to see it with us? –
Daniel didn’t answer and Naomi realised she shouldn’t have asked him.
– I’m sorry… –
– It’s OK, Naomi… Here’s what we’ll do: you watch it and when you’re done, leave it on my desk… I’ll look at it at night… What do you think? –
– All right…
You watched the whole play, the whole two hours. They didn’t understand the language, but they were carried away by the music and the performances, like when she sang to them in the music room. The little boy was so fascinated that he made mouth movements when Deanna sang a note, but silently. Naomi loved the costumes, the decorations, the lights that followed her around the stage. For Ethan it was something else: it was watching her do what she loved, and he imagined her happiness.
That evening he found the copy on his desk. He took it and went to lock himself in the music room, which had remained locked and dusty. He had not let anyone in, not even to clean. Everything was exactly as it had been the last time. On the piano, the scarf she used to wear when she was cold.
He sat down and played the video. He wasn’t surprised, he knew it would come to this and more. When it was over, the screen went black and he threw his head back. If he hadn’t missed, he would have been standing in the front row applauding her. But he missed, and now everything he did was without joy, without tears, without anything. He was just getting on with his life.
He was about to turn everything off and leave when the screen came alive again. It was her, in a room, her hair loose, a long jumper slipping off her shoulders.
“What did you think? I still can’t believe it! You can’t imagine how much I thank you for still being there, behind the screen, my beautiful children… Thank you for listening to me, for telling me about your lives… for your words of encouragement… I love you so much! Rome is beautiful, it is full of bridges and very old structures, one can go up to the terrace of any building and see the domes rising in the distance… The fountains! The fountains are spectacular… Well, everything here is… I miss you guys so much… Next week I will go to Florence to give a mini concert, they say it is the most beautiful city in Italy. I promise to call you from there… My mom and grandma are coming back tomorrow, I would like them to stay with me, but they have to take care of the restaurant and grandma gets tired faster already… They send them greetings and kisses, too… Well, see you in Florence I love you very much!”
She didn’t even turn off the device and went out. She was happy, you could see it in the sparkle in her eyes and in the smile, he had to catch up with her and stop torturing himself. He would keep his feelings deep inside, take a deep breath and move on.
Eventually he had stopped peeking behind the door when she called, he had stopped looking her up on the net to find out where she showed up or looking at any of her pictures to remember her in that most intimate and erotic part of his imagination.
He had stopped naming her at night in his mind.