A Werewolf, A Vampire, and A Fae Walk Into A Bar (Book 1 of The Last Witch Series)

It's not an exaggeration to say that having a gun pointed at you and your newborn child is one of the most terrifying things that can happen to a person. But my terror is short lived.

As short lived as that asshole's life in my apartment.

Several things happen at once, and I only have time to step back and tighten my arms around my irate child as a scene straight out of a horror movie unfolds before me.

First, Zev's body shifts from man to wolf in one astounding moment. It's like a controlled burst of energy--he takes in a breath, then his features and limbs transform in a smooth, exotic motion, his bones reshaping as white fur grows over skin. He lands gracefully on all fours, majestic and intimidating. I've seen a couple wolves in my life, and Zev's at least twice as big as any of them.

Before I can even unpack that transition, Darius moves with lightning speed, disarming John just as the gun goes off, blowing a hole in my ceiling and traumatizing my eardrums.

Next, Zev leaps into the fray, his claws digging into John's chest and tearing through flesh, muscle and bone like the bastard is made of butter.

And finally, Darius's teeth sharpen into knives, and he twists John's neck to the side, sinking his fangs into John's pulsing vein.

I don't know what kills him. The wolf mauling or the vampire draining, but within seconds, his lifeless form is dropped to my floor like a bag of flour.

The thunk he makes is slightly wet, like a splat, and I swallow back vomit and shield Rain's eyes from the gore, even though I know she technically can't see that far yet.

"What the f--" I can't even finish my thoughts before Rune appears, his body blocking what remains of the door frame as his sharp blue eyes take in the scene. Darius glances at him. "There was a situation," he says before looking down at the body and then back to Rune. "It's been resolved."

I nearly choke on his casual tone.

Rune nods. "Good. AJ is in the bar. You might need to..."

Darius nods. "Understood." He disappears downstairs, while Zev remains a wolf, sitting by the door like a guard dog.

"And the child?" Rune locks his gaze with mine, and in four long strides is by my side, assessing both Rain and me. "You are shaking. It's shock. Come."

He guides me out of the living room and into my bedroom, then sits me on the bed and gently removes the screaming child from my arms. "She is hungry but safe." He looks at me with more compassion than I've ever seen from any of them. "If you cannot feed her, I can make her a formula that will satisfy."

My mind is having trouble translating sound to words, but it clicks into place when he starts to leave with her.

"No. Give her to me. I can do it."

He nods and hands Rain back, and without regard for modesty--as that ship has long since sailed--I pull out a breast and let my baby latch on.

Rune watches, his eyes mostly locked on Rain, I'm sure to confirm she's okay after everything that transpired. Still, his eyes spend a little more time on me than they have in the past. His gaze trails over my naked breast, then along my neck and up to my eyes. A hint of modesty creeps back into my psyche, as I realize how disheveled and generally disgusting I must look. I know I certainly feel beyond gross after a day of work, childbirth, intermittent sleep and no bathing.

I break eye contact before he does, checking on Rain to make sure she's drinking all right. She's chugging away, blissfully unaware of everything. I wonder how old she'll be when I can finally tell her the story of her birth. Right now, it seems like it would be too traumatic at any age. I smile to myself as I think of getting a picture of the three Sexies holding Rain, each looking deathly serious, to put in her baby book. Then I laugh out loud when I imagine Darius not showing up in the picture--if that adage about vampires is true. "What? What's wrong?" Rune asks.

Is laughter a sign of distress where he's from?

"Do vampires show up in mirrors or pictures?" I ask.

Rune frowns. "Is there a reason they wouldn't?"

I shrug. "Just trying to figure out how much of what I think I know is real."

He sniffs. "Well, I wouldn't put a lot of stock in what most humans imagine any of us to be like. Honestly, I have no idea where they come up with some of it."

"Right. Well. You'll have to fill me in on what's real and what's not." I switch Rain to my other breast. "In the meantime, I'm going to finish feeding and change her, you should go see--"

"What the actual mother-loving hell is this?"

It would appear AJ has seen the body of her now-dead husband.

I hear one of the guys saying something to her, but she comes busting into my room, her eyes wide, blood drained from her skin. "Oh my Lord, woman, you scared the shit out of me. I thought that bastard..."

She rushes me and the baby, evading Rune who tries to stop her as she sits next to me on the bed and wraps her arms awkwardly around me as Rain continues to feed.

"Are you okay? Is my god-baby okay?" she asks, tears now streaming down her face.

I lean my head against her forehead, the way we used to do, like cats headbutting each other. "We're safe. But...I'm sorry? About... you know." It's a pretty weak apology for, I don't know, being an accessory to murder? Not really sure what my role was so I can't figure out the appropriate response. Hallmark doesn't make cards for 'sorry the three supernatural beings who came here to kidnap my kid killed your abusive asshole husband in the most violent way possible.' I'm guessing the demand isn't high for that sort of thing. Very niche market.Copyright by Nôv/elDrama.Org.

But AJ just shakes her head. "Girl, there's a lot you need to explain, but right now I'm just relieved you and cutie-pie here are okay. That asswipe can burn in hell for all I care."

"You're not mad?" I ask. I mean, I'm not mad he's dead. I'm mad there's blood all over my newly refurbished apartment, but John can rot, as she said. Still, AJ has had a complicated relationship with him since high school. I know this can't be easy, even if he was an animated piece of evil dog shit.

She shakes her head, letting blond curls spill in front of her eyes. "Listen, this marriage has been dead for a long time. It was just...living in a small town, with nowhere else to go, it always felt too hard to get out." AJ wipes her eyes, then smiles. "Now the marriage is literally dead, and I didn't have to do the murdering, so I guess--"

Rain interrupts our heart to heart by pulling off my nipple, satisfied with a full tummy. Before I can burp her, Rune--who I nearly forgot was there, that boy is stealth--holds his hands out for her. "I'd like to check her ears, if that's okay?"

When I frown, confused, he adds. "From the gunshot? And I can burp her and get her back to sleep."

Shit. What kind of mother am I that I didn't even consider the effect a gunshot so close to her head would have? I nod and hand her to Rune.

Zev, who is still a giant white wolf, appears at the door and hovers near Rune as they leave my room. The wolf glances at me briefly, then walks away.

I gracelessly shove my breast back into my shirt and sigh as AJ narrows her eyes. "You gonna tell me what the hell is going on now? For real? Who are these guys?"

I inwardly wince, not wanting to lie, but knowing I must. For reasons. "I already told you, they were on their way to a medical convention when--"

"Shut your lying mouth, B. Look, I know I've never been as smart as you. I still hear the same dumb blond jokes from the idiots and assholes who were saying that shit in high school, so I'm not delusional about how clever I am. But, of all people, you know I'm not as stupid as I look." Her eyes narrow and I see the lifetime of pain and disappointment hidden in them. A lifetime of living up to the very low expectations everyone had for her.