A Piece of Your Heart

It was then that I realized I was talking too much about myself.

‘Oops,’ I thought. ‘I should be listening to him, not the other way around.’

‘After all, this transactional relationship was formed for the purpose of being Nathan’s listening ear. Straighten up, Julia!’

“Ah, enough about me and my family. What about you?” I asked, swiftly changing the topic. “You do love to play games, don’t you? From the sound of your voice earlier, you seemed excited to talk about the subject.”

It was true. Nathan would talk to me about various topics, like interesting facts and trivia and even random insights here and there.

But when he talked about video games, his expression seemed to brighten in a way that signified a genuine interest. Like it was his passion.

So I was a little confused as to why he acted strangely about it earlier. It kinda felt like he was restraining himself for some reason.

“Oh, did I?” He seemed a little shy all of a sudden. “Well, as you can probably tell so far since our first meeting… I’m a little awkward, aren’t I?”

I shook my head. “Yes, but not so much. It’s not like you’re a weird person for having a personality of your own. Each of us is different in our own way, right?”

“R… Right.” He seemed a bit surprised by my response. I wondered why.

Did he not receive words like this before?

Was it possible that he was judged by people in the past for his hobbies?

“Anyway, I don’t go out much,” he continued. “I only have a few friends in my life. I guess you could say that I’m an introvert and a homebody.”

I nodded. “Nothing wrong with that.”

“So, I… get hesitant sometimes when I talk. I tend to choose my words carefully and not show any weakness whatsoever.” He smiled a little sadly. “After all, in a world like this, if a man like me ever showed weakness or a personality that people didn’t approve of, contrary to their expectations of me, it would only add to the prejudice.”

Prejudice? I couldn’t help but frown.

It seemed like he was saying this out of personal experience.

Was my inkling just now really correct?

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“My background is… in other words, quite prominent,” Nathan said hesitantly. “Eyes and ears are always trained on me. A lot of people depend on me. If I show anything out of the ordinary, I will be judged for it accordingly. So I have to be careful all the time.”

Hmm…

I watched him closely.

The restaurant was a charming mix of rustic and modern elements. The place wasn’t too small, and the tables were perfectly positioned to avoid overcrowding or invading each other’s personal space.

Soft, warm light cascaded from the lamps above, giving the wooden tables and chairs a cozy glow. It shone on Nathan’s face, casting shadows across his handsome features. Soft instrumental music played in the background, adding to the soothing atmosphere.

‘It’s like a date,’ I thought. ‘But this isn’t one.’

Based on his words just now, I was able to read between the lines. He was implying that he held a high position in his workplace and that he had to act as an authority figure for the people under him.

Perhaps he was the head of the department or the director. He was probably strict and unapproachable in the company, so he was always careful about what he did and said to other people, especially in the workplace.

But then I wondered what the nature of his job was. To be honest, I couldn’t help but feel quite curious about it.

Like, what was the extent of his authority and influence?

Why did he have to walk on eggshells all the time?

So I said it out loud, just in case.

“Can I ask what kind of job you have?”

Nathan looked surprised, but he nodded. “I can’t specify what position I hold, but I work at a video game company. I guess you could say that I’m living the dream,” he said a little sheepishly. “I like my work most of the time, but because I’m… at a high position, I’m left with a lot of responsibilities on my plate.”

I knew it.

“I see,” I said. “A video game company, huh?”

“Yes.” Nathan nodded. “I can’t disclose the name just yet, though.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I just find it interesting.”

His eyes visibly lit up. “You do?” he said. “I still do find it interesting until now. It just challenges your creativity, you know? But you also need to be meticulous and able to work under pressure. After all, in order to release a game, we have to work on a strict schedule.”

“Really?” I had to admit that I was intrigued, even just a little.

Nathan nodded. “Everyone works closely together to bring the imagination to life. It all starts with story concepts, designs, characters, plots, and combined suggestions. Personally, I like to be involved in the creative process as much as possible. For example, you are aware of the concepts and character designs, aren’t you? For starters…”

Nathan kept on talking on and on about his work, and to my surprise, I hung onto his every word.

He was indeed an interesting man. In fact, most of the time during the dinner, I forgot that he was rich and held a high position in his company.

At this moment, he seemed like an average guy with his own tastes and hobbies. For the past week that we had been trying this out, he talked about the things he was interested in and shared his opinions.

It was nice. It made him feel human, like a real friend.

‘It’s unfortunate that I can’t allow myself to get attached to him,’ I thought to myself. ‘A friendship that’s transactional is not entirely genuine, after all. Who knows if he might use this to his advantage later? What if he’s just using me to vent without really seeing me as an equal?’

‘After all, it’s not good to trust someone so easily. I should just look at this as a job and nothing else.’

I told myself that, and yet the more I knew about Nathan, the more relaxed I became around him. Comfortable, to be exact.

It felt a little strange. Scary, even.

This was supposed to be a no emotional strings attached kind of relationship…

“…and I’d like to know your input on it,” Nathan was saying.

Crap! I was too engrossed in my thoughts to pay attention to the conversation.

He looked at me expectantly, and I felt my ears burning with embarrassment. I didn’t know if it was just me, but I didn’t like making other people feel like I wasn’t paying attention to them while they were talking. It just didn’t feel right.

Even if I wasn’t that engrossed, I thought that being polite and responding accordingly was the right thing to do.

And now I just made that mistake.

‘Good going, Julia,’ I groaned internally. ‘You’re supposed to be the listener here…’Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” I asked apologetically. “I was lost in thought for a moment…”

To my surprise, instead of looking hurt or even the least bit annoyed, Nathan chuckled.