Chapter 12
Nina’s POV
After a short silence, I understood what Andy just said. “So you mean, to let me show Kevin the truth, so as to prove whether Kevin and I really love each other?” Even though I’m sure in my mind, I still need to confirm this to him.
Andy turned his head helplessly after listening to my words. I’m still thinking bitterly about how to open my mouth and explain the truth to Kevin. Would he understand me? I mean, yeah, it’s hard to accept science fiction but as for me, it’s really true.
It’s too difficult to tell the truth. Andy shook his head and sighed and replied, “It’s very difficult. After all, we don’t know yet if he really loves you deeply.” Andy left, leaving me alone. I held my chin with my hands in distress, looked up at the moon outside the window, and quietly thought about how to confess.
We are meant to confess our sins to one another. Mine might not be a sin, but it is who I am. I know that in confessing, there is power in it. Breaking free from strongholds will never happen on our own. It won’t. I have to stop trying to do it alone. I have to stop pretending I have it all together. I am doing nothing but damage by living in these lies.
Confessing to some bad behavior was more common than making a full confession among those who cheated as much as possible in the study. But only telling part of the truth, as opposed to not confessing at all, was more likely to lead to increased feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety, the research found. In other words, it’s best to commit to an all or nothing approach when it comes to confessing.
Well, part of the reason why I am hesitant, of course, is fear of rejection. We, as human beings, are horrified by the idea that if we show someone the soft underbelly of our feelings then they will immediately dance across them in hobnailed boots. Worse, that they will hate us for it. That we will repulse, dismay or alienate someone simply by telling them that we like them. How much more if I will tell him the truth about me?
I’m still thinking about everything even though I am now lying in my soft and comfy bed. The softness of my mattress does not even help me relax at all. So I let out a deep breath and went to the bathroom to fix myself. I found my toothbrush in one of the drawers and used it taking my time. After I was done, I decided to take a long and hot shower to relax my body and for my mind to at least work more.
When I was done with my shower, I felt my body warm but it is not enough to relieve my stress over this matter. Well, anyway, I am now looking at my cabinet and looking for something comfortable to wear.
I decided to wear an oversized shirt over my head and some shorts to freshen up. I like to lie down when I am thinking so I looked for my blower and started blowing my hair so that my hair will become dry.
I thought more if I will really tell him who I really am. The problem with keeping secrets is that they’re alive. We like to think that our secrets can lie quietly in our minds, as inert as dirt, but we’re wrong. Secrets aren’t just our creations… they’re our creatures, beings with wills of their own. They grow. They reproduce, as we form new secrets to support the old ones. They even migrate, colonizing the people closest to us (ask anyone from a secretive family). But the scariest thing about secrets is what they want: They want out.
The truth constantly tries to escape into the open, and keeping any of it buried invites isolation, obsession, addiction, even complete psychological destruction. On the other hand, random or ill-advised confessions can be disastrous. The only way to find harmony and balance is to learn when, where, why and to whom you should confess your secrets.
Then, there’s also this confession compulsion which makes sense when you consider that our secrets are simply parts of our life stories, our selves, that have been forced into hiding. We all have a deep psychological need to be accepted as we really are, but that can never happen as long as there are parts of us that no one sees or knows. We conceal aspects of ourselves that we think invite rejection, but ironically, the very act of secrecy makes us inaccessible to love. We think we’re hiding our secrets, but really, our secrets are hiding us.
I don’t know how long it took but my thoughts and worries kept on bothering me. I could not sleep either, so I decided to look for some movies to watch. Maybe, just maybe, I will be able to fall asleep.
I’ve been browsing for some time now but I could not decide what movie to watch. Nothing catches my attention too, so I decided to just go downstairs and make a healthy snack.
Raiding my refrigerator for the ingredients, I decided to make an avocado toast. Making avocado toast is easy! You likely already have your own method, but these simple tips will take it from good to great, trust me. I know.
A piece of toast topped with avocados delivers tons of health benefits over a fast-food breakfast or snack.
There are many benefits of avocados. Most notably, they deliver the healthy fat your body needs. Did you know that a medium avocado is made up of 75% monounsaturated fats? According to the experts, as I read before when I was searching for a snack, these healthy fats can reduce bad cholesterol levels and lower your risk of developing heart disease. Avocados are also high in fiber and are known to contain more than 20 different vitamins and minerals.
Because avocados are high in healthy fats and fiber, an average portion size of avocado toast delivers the right number of calories to leave you full, but not too full. That’s why I also chose this one for me tonight. Because if I eat too much, I’m afraid I will have indigestion.
Another thing about avocado is that it has a lot of fiber. Fiber is known to aid in digestion and can aid in weight loss. Along with a healthy lifestyle and exercise, incorporating avocado toast into your diet may be helpful if you’re trying to lose weight. So it’s really perfect.
Better ingredients make better toast. Use the best bread you can find. I like to toast thick slices of sourdough or whole grain bread. For an extra pop of flavor, I lightly rub each slice of bread with the cut side of a halved garlic clove as soon as it comes out of the toaster.
I then mash the avocado directly on the toast. Some say that you need to mash the avocado in a separate bowl before piling it onto the bread, but in my opinion, the more texture the avocado has, the better your toast will be, we’re not making guacamole, okay?
Then halve the avocado and remove the pit. Then, use a paring knife to score cubes of the avocado inside the skin without piercing the skin. Drizzle the diced flesh with lemon juice and sprinkle it with flaky sea salt before scooping and mashing onto the toast.
Alternatively, slice the avocado inside the skin, season it, and fan the slices onto the bread. No need to mash. Don’t skip the lemon and salt. They add brightness and make the flavors pop. I like to season the avocado inside the skin, before I scoop it onto the bread. Easy right? Now I get to enjoy my toast. So with a happy feeling, I immediately forget what I was thinking earlier.
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I got up early feeling confident. Last night before I went to sleep, I was feeling positive that I would be able to tell Kevin who I really am. I am imagining his face of shock before I fell asleep last night. He might be shocked but I am hoping that he will be able to accept me as I am. I want him to know me better to strengthen our relationship.
I want a relationship with no secrets. And I am the kind of person that will feel guilty every time I know that I am lying to him or any person I love. I believe that if he is really the right person for me, then he will accept me. So with that thought, I proceeded with my day.
After filming, I took Kevin to my home. After Kevin looked at my home, he turned to look at me and asked me curiously, “Don’t you feel a little lonely living alone in this huge house?”
“Although I don’t like loneliness, I am used to it. Anyway, a person has passed, and a group of people still have passed. What’s the difference?” I calmly replied to Kevin.
Kevin went to the sofa, then sat down and said firmly, “I won’t leave you alone in the future.”
“So you mean you like me?” I asked, hopeful.
I looked at Kevin hesitantly. “No, I don’t like you.” My heart broke when I heard this. “I love you, Nina.” I looked at Kevin in disbelief and confirmed to him again.
“Really? Do you really love me?” He loves me? I thought he only liked me. I never would have expected that sentence from him. For me, love is a very strong feeling. I am still having doubts but Kevin once again expressed his love to me with firm eyes and tone.
“I really love you, I really want to tell you, but your brother is always with us.” Kevin slowly walked to my side and the gentleman asked me.
“Can I hold your hand?” I nodded, Kevin took my hand, At this moment, I instantly felt the warmth of his palm. Then he began to tell me the details of his falling in love with me.
“Actually, at the music festival that day, I saw your special beauty from the stage. From that moment on, I was fascinated by you, so I made up my mind that I must be with you forever. I have to admit that from this moment on, I have completely belonged to you, Nina.”
After listening to his words, I was really moved, just as I was thinking about whether to promise him.
Kevin’s POV
“Did I say something wrong, or why would you ignore me? Or do you not like me?” I asked, confused. I don’t know what is going on in her head. Will she reject me?
Nina’s POV
I turned to look at the sunset and found that it was almost sunset. I looked at Kevin and decided to confess it to him.
“Kevin, I have to confess something to you.” Kevin wondered what it was.
“What would you think if I told you that I was not human?” I looked at Kevin seriously, but Kevin said to me in a joking tone, “If you are not human, what else can you be?” I looked at Kevin as the sun was about to set.
“The next thing that will happen is something that I wanted to confess to you.”
Kevin’s POV
What will happen later? It can’t be that big of a deal, right?
Nina’s POV
I looked at the setting sun, I thought this moment had arrived after all. Kevin and I looked at my feet at the same time.
Suddenly, my feet were covered with fish scales. I instantly turned into a mermaid, And Kevin at this time was so scared that he kept shouting that I am a monster. He ran out of my house directly scared, watching Kevin leave. My heart was full of disappointment, I couldn’t help myself, my heart was sour, and a crystal tear slowly slipped down my cheek.
After Kevin left, I began to become decadent, sitting on the couch in the room, quietly not talking, looking at the beautiful moon, my heart was full of sadness, but what can I do? After all, in anyone’s eyes, I am just a monster. A monster. I thought out loud. He really thought of me as a monster. I thought he loves me? Is that really love? Or was he just attracted to my face and body? After all, most men thought like that. I know, but the feeling inside me kept boiling. I felt like my heart is getting crushed.
In Andy’s house, After Andy woke up from his nap, Start calling me, All the available responses are voicemail. Please dial later when your mobile phone is turned off.
Andy came to my door at night out of worry, but I didn’t want to open the door at all. Until later, I went to open the door. As soon as I opened the door, Andy hugged me tightly after seeing that I was safe.
Andy began to ask me, “Why don’t you answer the phone? Don’t you know that it will make people worry? “After listening to him, my wronged tears fell directly. Andy began to comfort me and kept asking me what happened. I cried and told him what happened in the afternoon.
Andy was so angry that he almost ran to beat Kevin. I asked him,” Do you think I am a monster?”
“No, Even if you’re a mermaid, I love you very much.”
When I heard this sentence, I pushed Andy away and looked at Andy with a pair of incredulous eyes. Andy didn’t feel unhappy, but told me his thoughts.
” Actually, I’ve liked you since I was very young, When I was young, I’m too introverted, Often bullied, And you were the first to jump out and speak for me, I like your strength, When the whole class didn’t like me, You’ll come and talk to me, I also like your gentleness sometimes. Even if you become a mermaid, what I like is that you are innocent and cute, so don’t think that no one in the world will like you because I love you even if every person will not like you. ”
After listening to Andy’s sincere confession, I froze and didn’t reply to him. I first asked Andy not to worry about me then he went home.